Raw Food = Raw Deal

I admit it - I'm a sucker for health fads. I've read every diet book that has every been published, including (but not limited to) The Zone, Dr. Atkin's New Diet Revolution, French Women Don't Get Fat, The Okinawa Diet, Sugar Busters, The Best Life Diet, The Paleolithic Diet, Suzanne Somers' Get Skinny on Fabulous Food, Protein Power, and who knows how many more. Not that I actually practice what these books preach; to do so would be physically impossible, since they all preach something slightly different. But I like to stay informed, and it's good to throw a little healthy reading in with the Barefoot Contessa library and the Dean and Deluca cookbook, both of which tend to pad the waistline even as they please the palate.

One fad I haven't tried has been the raw food diet. I'm a cook, for crying out loud. I like to cook things. Futzing around with sprouts and blenders holds no appeal and even less glamor. I've always thought vegans looked a little gray around the gills; now imagine no eggs, no dairy, no HEAT.

But I live in Santa Cruz, where everyone does yoga, everyone drinks Kombucha, and raw food is on display at every supermarket. So I tried some spring rolls and a slice of blueberry "cheesecake" from La Vie, downtown Santa Cruz's go-to spot if you're into that sort of thing. I can't say that I am. At roughly 8 bucks, the spring rolls are the opposite of a steal, especially when you consider that they're made of zucchini, beets, carrots, and cucumber. That's it. Seriously. But the point isn't to be full, is it - if that were the case, I'd stroll on down to the El Palomar Taco Bar and swoop two snapper tacos for 6 bucks, which would give me the opportunity to get my salsa fix, becuase I swear their salsa is laced with crack. You can't stop eating it.

But I digress. The point is not to be satiated, but rather to be healthy, right? I suppose. I can't even begin to delve into the kinds of class issues this kind of eating entails; I would probably still be hungry if I didn't happen to have a terrible stomachache.

I think I'm allergic to raw food. I'm also $16 poorer than I was twenty minutes ago. Hurrah.